by Linda Lawless MA
November National Alzheimer's Disease Month www.alz.org November Gratitude Gratitude (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gratitude) is more or less important to you depending on your value system. The emerging field of positive psychology has identified Gratitude as one of its core values that helps people live fulfilling lives. You can assess your core values and even take a Gratitude self-assessment for FREE, Click Here. The bottom line is that we are in the season of gratitude with Thanksgiving and the Holidays upon us, and knowing how to appreciate yourself and others is a key issue for the season.
Here’s an important tip regarding the expression of gratitude. One of the exercises Marty Seligman, author of Authentic Happiness, has students do is to write a Gratitude Letter. This letter thanks someone in your past or present for something they gave you. What he found was that when students wrote their letters they felt good about themselves and the letters recipient. Where they got into trouble was when they delivered the letter. Sometimes the letter was accepted graciously, but sometimes the recipient was confused and in some cases belligerent about being thanked for something they were not even aware of, i.e., being thanked for teaching their child resilience through frequent verbal abuse. So, when you get in touch with what you are grateful about yourself, sit with it and take in what you can. When you want to express gratitude to others, pause and ask yourself if they are ready to hear it. During this season I recommend exploring your own value of gratitude by visiting the website above, and more simply, telling people you run into during your life, when you honestly appreciate what they have, or are doing that you appreciate them. I told my personal trainer how much I appreciated his ability to work around my aging body's weekly needs and stopped him dead in his tracks while he dealt with being told something good for a change. I told the lady at the checkout stand in the market that I appreciated her daily good cheer and brought a tear to her eye.
On a larger scale, the Greater Good Magazine out of UC Berkeley, whose mission is devoted to the scientific understanding of happy and compassionate individuals, strong social bonds, and altruistic behavior, offer tips for keeping a Gratitude Journal. Click Here. Holiday Shopping Yes, we are in the middle of the target of every marketing campaign in America and beyond. So, have you got all your shopping done? Ask my daughter and she says yes. My response was humph, and my wondering how she has managed to be that way given who raised her. My answer to that question is, no, but I’m willing to think about it. Since I have an aversion to malls I started my shopping by reading ads and shopping online. After spending 4 hours pondering one purchase, I decided to change my approach. Stay tuned. One of my usual habits is to buy too much, one for myself, and two for others during the holidays. It’s not over the top but enough to be bothersome. A colleague of mind has explored over-shopping in depth. www.stoppingovershopping.com. I have learned much from her. There is also a rather entertaining theatre production called What Would Jesus Buy? If you’re not offended by the title, you can explore it at http://www.alternet.org/mediaculture/68485/.So given all of the above, my new approach it to use the old approach, thanking people when I think of it, and a new approach of asking myself if the gift I’m giving will enhance their life long term or short term. I’m giving myself permission to purchase one or two short term items but am working on long-term solutions for everybody. I’ve started with the greatest challenge, the 7-year old grandbaby. I’m just itching to buy toys, and holding back. So far I’ve come up with a couple books and ways to teach him meditation so he can feel peaceful in this stressful world. I’ll let you know how the rest of it unfolds. My very best to you all during the holidays.
Keep in mind that January, the month of new beginnings, lurks in the future. Spend some of your time at the end of the year reflecting on what has unfolded and what you have to be grateful for in your own life. With this under your belt you have a good jumping off place for the New Year. I appreciate all of your comments and ideas to share with others. I wish that we all help one another live lives of joy and abundance in a peaceful world.
Onward Linda