by Linda Lawless LMHC LMFT
The image of “beauty”, portrayed by sleek women in long beautiful dresses at the Academy Awards, changes from year to year. Fortunately those beauties have the money and career motivation to do what is needed to look BEAUTIFUL. The years pass, few remain who moved from Beautiful to Elegant then to Classic, as the circle of life turned. So is beauty, a quality that comes, then goes, or can it be a more lasting or eternal quality?
I asked myself this question last weekend on retreat at a mindfulness scientific conference. Many of the attendees were beautiful and elegant men and women of all ages. No they weren’t wearing long gowns or sporting buffed physiques, but there was a vitality, an aura about them, that attracted the senses and screamed Beauty.
This new kind of beauty came from their physical vibrance, and inner equanimity. There was also a joyful glow that shone from the inside out. They were healthy and at home in their skin. I believe this new kind of beauty is Well-Being.
So what is “well-being” and why should you care? The definition from www.dictionary.com is “a good or satisfactory condition of existence; a state characterized by health, happiness, and prosperity.” So the reason to care is clear, to live longer with a higher quality of life. So coming full circle, the pursuit of the New Beauty, is the creation of a life worth living, built from the inside out.
You probably already know what you need to be doing to improve your inner and outer beauty, but don’t do it. It’s often the case that what we know, and what we do, are often worlds apart.
The secret is to create a healthy hunger for well-being. When I find myself hungry for sugar, I ask myself if this hunger is in the service of my health and well-being, or not. If NOT, then I ride the wave of the craving, watch it pass, and redirect myself to a healthier choice, like raisins. A simple process yet deceptively difficult. Years of unhealthy hungers need to be replaced with new healthy lifestyle choices. These unhealthy habits have created neural pathways that make it easier to slide into sugary soda rather than having a glass of water and walking around the block. Once the new neural pathways and body memories are created, creating well-being gets easier and easier.
The basics for creating a healthier lifestyle are:
Body
Physical health - Get medical check-ups and learn how to engage in a dialogue with your body. Be your own health advocate. With all the cuts in health resources these days, you should know you can’t count on someone else to take care of you. It’s your job to find what you need to remain physically healthy.
Sleep - Get enough sleep EVERY night. If this is a problem for seek help. Sleep time is when our body repairs itself.
Nutrition - Educate yourself about good nutrition and develop healthy hungers. I highly recommend exploring Mindful Eating. It’s an approach that helps you slow down and enjoy your food while making better food choices.
Exercise - You know exercise is good for you. So what gets in the way of following an exercise program. Recent research shows us that just 11 minutes a day of exercise benefits us.
Oral care - See your dentist regularly. Get your teeth cleaned and checked at least twice per year.
Mind
Contemplative Practice/Meditation - Meditation has been proven to increase the length of the Telomeres on the end of our chromosomes. The length of the telomeres is an indicator of health and longevity. .
Life-long learning - Learning new things every day, keeps the mind sharp well into our senior years. Using your skills in new ways elevates the spirit.
Emotions
Emotional intelligence helps us live happier lives. Regular meditation strengthens the part of the brain that manages our feelings.
Relationships
Healthy relationships - Your relationships should be bringing out the beauty in you.
Work
Right works - work that engages your strengths and creativity.
Spirit
Positive Psychology - As more research is done on the value of positivity, as opposed to negativity, it’s a no brainer to develop a more positive perspective in your life. The simple act of naming three positive things that happened to you each day as you lay your head down to sleep can change your outlook on life.
Fun - Make time to enjoy life. Life is fragile and you may not have the opportunity tomorrow to enjoy the beauty around you. Do it Today.
Loving Kindness - We benefit as much, if not more, from helping others.
Finally, manage your stress. We all need a little stress, eustress, to keep us upright and moving forward. It’s the distressful stress that takes its toll. Chronic stress impacts the immune system and creates unhealthy hungers in an attempt to buff out the anxiety and frustration that is part of everyday life. With the news of war and disasters being thrown at us 24-7, its no wonder that we live in a constant state of fear. Develop the ability to step back in healthy ways rather than eating that pound of chocolate or quart of ice-cream. Take a walk, meditate, read a good book or talk to a friend instead.
Yes, beauty is more than skin deep and maintaining skin health increases your health beauty quotient. So don’t just get the facelift or skin peel, increase your inner peace and joy, engage in healthy ways with your work and friends, and create the kind of lifestyle that supports well-being. Then you too, will be one of the New Beauties that will inspire those you love and others to do the same.
"Nothing endures but personal qualities."
Walt Whitman