LifeDancing

LifeDancing Has a New Home

Going to work has become even easier, I can now walk three blocks to my office on the Good Ship LifeDancing. She is now berthed at the Vallejo Yacht Club. I moved her so I could learn how to sail this 41 foot beast. The new Yacht Club is more of a sailor's club and has many members who are eager to help us learn how to sail her. We've already met sailor's who know the boat and have brought us up to speed on her history.

Also, as I write this I am in the final phase of editing the book LifeDancing - Personal Leadership and Mastering Life's Movement. I've been absent from a lot of activities as I buried myself in the writing process. I'm amazed that I still have friends and family given my all too often involvement in research or working on the computer.

I'm eager to get the first draft out to those who are interested in reading it and giving me feedback before the final printing. 

Let me know if you are curious enough to preview LifeDancing, the book, and/or visit me at our new location.

Warmly

Linda

Dancing to the New Year - 11-08

by Linda Lawless MA

Also check out:

Positive Psychology - www.positivepsychologyatwork.com

WOW, we’ve survived another national election!!! No more political telephone calls or advertisements. Now we simply watch and listen to the media giving us their perspective.

As if we didn’t have enough on our plates, Thanksgiving shimmers on the horizon, soon followed by the holidays. Families gather, or not, and then there is the issue of dealing with difficult relationships and how to manage gifts with reduced income and/or savings.

Given these challenges I would like to remind you to please keep your spirit and soul alive. Attitude is critical! Here are some wise words:

 

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.  Attitude, to me, is more important than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do.  It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.  It will make or break a company...a church...a home.  The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we embrace for that day.  We cannot change our past…we cannot change the fact that people act in a certain way.  We cannot change the inevitable.  The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude…I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.  And so it is with you…we are in charge of our ATTITUDES.

Found on the wall at Hyman’s Seafood Restaurant in Charleston SC, adapted from the book Attitude by Chuck Swindol.

And then the Dalai Lama reminds us

 "Be wise. Treat yourself, your mind, sympathetically, with loving kindness. If you are gentle with yourself,

you will become gentle with others." -- Lama Yeshe

Did you know that Attitude, and how you think, feel and treat yourself are catching. When you have a positive attitude, treat yourself with loving kindness, and come in contact with others, you become a virus of love and happiness.

I’ve included with these words some tools to help YOU along the way. First is the Wholistic Integral Problem Solving chapter from my new book LifeDancing, Mastering Life’s Movement to be published in 09. It is a problem solving model I use personally and use with clients when life challenges them. You can use it to plan your holiday events or even clean out that garage that needs tending.

The next is a tool is called the Emotional Freedom Technique EFT . It is a simple accupressure tapping protocol in which you tap acupressure sites in a particular order to relieve stress. Visit the site and download their free manual. It is easy to use and you only look a little strange when you are standing in that long line at the market tapping your forehead.

I wish you the best End of Year you can create for yourself and others. Remember, You Are The Leader You Have Been Looking For, treat yourself with respect and loving kindness!

 

Warmly

Linda

Happiness: Meditation Changes Your Body's Response to Stress

Greetings,

I ran across the following article recently and thought I would pass it on to those of you who are interested in happiness and/or meditation. The article starts out with a statement that I find counter to my understanding of meditation, that there is a goal, but other than that it contains some very interesting information. I very highly recommend meditation, the difficult part is maintaining a daily practice. I'm partial to MBSR, Mindful Based Stress Reduction since it includes a physical component. The practice can be easily learned in an 8 week class or self-taught using the text by Jon Kabat-Zinn, Full Catastrophe Living.

by Lynn D. Johnson, Ph.D.

Meditation’s goal is to create a “relaxation response” in ourselves. When we are deeply relaxed, when our mind and our body is quiet, we recover quickly from stress. We have known for years that this is good for us. But a new study tells us that meditation actually changes how our body responds to new stresses.

When our body is under stress, it reacts by getting ready to run or fight, or perhaps to “play dead.” While the stress changes were helpful when we lived in primitive conditions, today they really aren’t helpful. After all, when is the last time to had to capture and kill an animal so you could eat? Or run from some predator who wanted to eat you?

Instead, today’s stresses are mental, not physical threats. In other words, the things the body does - run away or fight - don’t help us solve today’s problems. But the problem is that your body doesn’t know if it is 2008 or 10,000 B.C. So it keeps on using same defenses.

Now we know that we bounce back much better from stress generally if we do certain things:

● Physically exercise every day - for 30 to 60 minutes - to burn off our stress hormones. Daily exercise is as good of an antidepressant as any of the prescription medications.
● Meditate for 15 to 20 minutes every day, clearing the mind and entering into a sleep-like state.

But what the new study asked is whether meditation actually changes how our body reacts to new stresses. It asked this question by testing two groups: One group of experienced meditators, and one group of people who had never meditated but were willing to go through eight weeks of training. They found that both the experienced meditators and the new meditators showed the same type of benefit, over people who had no training in meditation 

The authors said their study showed that “the relaxation response changed the expression of genes involved with inflammation, programmed cell death and the handling of free radicals. Free radicals are normal byproducts of metabolism that the body neutralizes in order to stop damage to cells and tissues.” What that means is that stress didn’t bother the bodies of the meditators as much. They simply were stronger in the face of problems!

The surprising thing is that this happens at a genetic level! In other words, your own DNA shifts and modifies itself to express fewer stress related genes and more expression of calming and confident genes.

What kind of meditation? Frankly, every type is helpful, and there isn’t any evidence that one style is better than another. If you are of a more mystical bent, try Transcendental Meditation or take a class in Yoga. I personally use Autogenic Training and have for over thirty years. Herbert Bensen has a classic book, “The Relaxation Response” which teaches a simply type of meditation. Mindfulness Meditation is also great.

The study was reported in PloSOne, and on-line free access medical journal. The address (as of July 2008): http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0002576
The study was done at Massachusetts General Hospital, Chestnut Hill, Massachusetts, and at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, Harvard Medical School, Boston, Massachusetts.

Copyright © 2008 by Lynn D. Johnson, Ph.D. Contact: drlynnjohnson@gmail.com or (801) 261-1412

"Genomic Counter-Stress Changes Induced by the Relaxation Response. " Jeffery A. Dusek, Hasan H. Otu, Ann L. Wohlhueter, Manoj Bhasin, Luiz F. Zerbini, Marie G. Joseph, Herbert Benson, Towia A. Libermann. PLoS ONE 3(7): e2576, Published online 2 July 2008 DOI:10.1371/journal.pone.0002576

February 2008

by Linda L Lawless MA

February is the month of relationships, aka Valentine's Day. Millions are spent on flowers, chocolate and fancy dinners. As we make choices about who we want to spend time with, what activities we want to participate in, have you ever wondered what drives us to choose as we do?

Values are our underlying compass turning us in a particular direction. Values are the music that drives the dance. Take some time to read the article on Values that you see to the right.

Life is a dance, and don't you think it is a good idea to know what music you are dancing to?

Warmly
Linda

New Year's Resolutions

by Linda Lawless MA

At the beginning of every New Year there is a lot of flurry to create New Year’s Resolutions. Millions of people make “resolutions” that never come to fruition which creates a sense of failure.
Whether the resolution is to loose 10 pounds, make more money, find your life partner or clean out your garage, be VERY VERY careful you don’t set yourself up for disappointment. Make absolutely certain that your resolutions, like Goals, are congruent with your personal values and have been run through the Goal Drill (see the Goal page to the right).

I use a little different approach to New Years resolutions. Rather than pile another responsibility on top of an already long list of things to do, I use January to step back, clear out the clutter, and take an honest look at my life, priorities, and my quality of life. I ask "What do I want to keep in my life?" "What do I want to eliminate from my life?" and finally, "What do I want to create anew?" With these answers, I can now streamline and move more quickly toward the life of my dreams.

New Year's Resolutions are similar to Goals. They must be congruent with your personal Values. Read the new page to the right on Goals. Here is the opening:

"Setting goals that mobilize your values is the first step to creating your unique dance of life, personal freedom and success in all areas of your life.

If you doubt this statement, here’s some eye opening facts about goals:
♦ 23% of the population has NO idea what they want from life and as a result they flout through life aimlessly at the mercy of their environment.
♦ 67% has a general idea of what they want but don’t have any plans on how to get it.
♦ 10% of the population has specific well-defined goals, but even then, 7 out of 10 of those people reach their goals only 50% of the time.
♦ The top 3% of the people in the study achieved their goals 89% of the time.

So what makes the difference between the 3% who achieve their goals and the others?"

Discover the secrets!

Holiday Shopping

Yes, we are the target of every marketing campaign in America and beyond. So, have you got all of your shopping done? Ask my daughter and she says yes. My response is humph, and wondering how she has managed to be that way given who raised her. My answer to that question is, no, but I'm willing to talk about it. I have friends and colleagues who have opted out of the gift buying model and seem content with that decision. I find myself moving toward a less commercial, more memorable holiday experience every year.

If any of you, or your clients find yourselves “overshopping”, a colleague of mine has explored over-shopping in depth. She has a wonderful website at www.stoppingovershopping.com with loads of media and a great resource page.

To help you make the holidays more meaningful, every year, here are some suggestions:

1. Practice generosity in the form of donating your time, gift giving, volunteering, and reaching out. Explore your community’s service organizations and you will quickly find ways to get involved. This year, in a relatively new community, I bought gifts for residents in a group home, manned a fundraising booth at a holiday parade, helped foster children receive gifts, sent cards to service men who are hospitalized and do not have family to support them and more. I didn’t plan these things, they came to me. I found I could, and it was easy and rewarding. You probably already know that giving to others of yourself cultivates inner joy and doesn't require or foster overindulgence in consumerism.

2. Share a prayer or inspirational poem or quote with someone, personally or over the internet. Sometimes it hits someone at just the right moment.

3. Give yourself a gift of time and space for some reflection, noble silence, and solitude. I scheduled a weekend at the beach for my birthday in January.

4. Research and contemplate the meaning of the particular holiday and season and its relationship to your local environment. Ask yourself how the “holiday season” has evolved over the years to what it is today.

6. Connect with someone you have difficulty relating to. For example, find some common ground to talk about with a family member you usually have trouble with at holiday gatherings.

7. Pare down your Holiday card and gift lists, as well as your list of obligations. Simplify your holiday scheduling, emphasizing quality time and connectedness rather than quantity of experiences or stuff.

8. Do inspirational reading and watch spiritual videos, movies, or plays. Try something new out this year.

So given all of the above, my new approach is to use the old approach of gift giving where it seems appropriate and the new approach of asking myself if the gift I'm giving will enhance their life long or short term.

I'm giving myself permission to purchase one or two short-term items, especially for the 8 and under group, and am working on long-term solutions for everybody as well. I've started with the greatest challenge, the 3-year old grandbaby. I'm just itching to buy toys, and redirecting myself. So far I've come up with a couple of interesting books and ways to teach him meditation so he can feel peaceful in this stressful world. I must this is also a gift for myself, imagine teaching a 3 year-old how to meditate. I’m guessing the student will be teaching the teacher.

My very best to you all during the holidays. You are probably more of a gift to others than you realize.

Keep in mind that January, the month of new beginnings lurks in the future. Spend some of your time at the end of the year reflecting on what has unfolded and what you have to be grateful for in your own life. With this under your belt you have a good jumping off place for the New Year.

I appreciate all of your comments and ideas to share with others. I wish that we all help one another live lives of joy and abundance in a peaceful world.

Onward
Linda

Gratitude

by Linda Lawless MA

November

National Alzheimer's Disease Month www.alz.org
November

Gratitude

Gratitude (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gratitude) is more or less important to you depending on your value system. The emerging field of positive psychology has identified Gratitude as one of its core values that helps people live fulfilling lives. You can assess your core values and even take a Gratitude self-assessment for FREE at http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/ The bottom line is that we are in the season of gratitude with Thanksgiving and the Holidays upon us, and knowing how to appreciate yourself and others is a key issue for the season.

Here’s an important tip regarding the expression of gratitude. One of the exercises Marty Seligman, author of Authentic Happiness, has students do is to write a Gratitude Letter. This letter thanks someone in your past or present for something they gave you. What he found was that when students wrote their letters they felt good about themselves and the letters recipient. Where they got into trouble was when they delivered the letter. Sometimes the letter was accepted graciously, but sometimes the recipient was confused and in some cases belligerent about being thanked for something they were not even aware of, i.e., being thanked for teaching their child resilience through frequent verbal abuse. So, when you get in touch with what you are grateful about yourself, sit with it and take in what you can. When you want to express gratitude to others, pause and ask yourself if they are ready to hear it.

During this season I recommend exploring your own value of gratitude by visiting the website above, and more simply, telling people you run into during your life, when you honestly appreciate what they have, or are doing that you appreciate them. I told my personal trainer how much I appreciated his ability to work around my aging body's weekly needs and stopped him dead in his tracks while he dealt with being told something good for a change. I told the lady at the checkout stand in the market that I appreciated her daily good cheer and brought a tear to her eye.

On a larger scale, the Greater Good Magazine out of UC Berkeley, whose mission is devoted to the scientific understanding of happy and compassionate individuals, strong social bonds, and altruistic behavior, dedicated an article in their Summer 2007 edition to Gratitude. You can find it at: http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/greatergood/archive/2007summer/

Holiday Shopping

Yes, we are in the middle of the target of every marketing campaign in America and beyond. So, have you got all your shopping done? Ask my daughter and she says yes. My response was humph, and my wondering how she has managed to be that way given who raised her. My answer to that question is, no, but I’m willing to think about it.

Since I have an aversion to malls I started my shopping by reading ads and shopping online. After spending 4 hours pondering one purchase, I decided to change my approach. Stay tuned. One of my usual habits is to buy too much, one for myself, and two for others during the holidays. It’s not over the top but enough to be bothersome.

A colleague of mind has explored over-shopping in depth. www.stoppingovershopping.com. I have learned much from her. There is also a rather entertaining theatre production covering the nation What Would Jesus Buy? http://www.alternet.org/mediaculture/68485/. If you’re not offended by the title, you can explore it at http://wwjbmovie.com/

So given all of the above, my new approach it to use the old approach, thanking people when I think of it, and a new approach of asking myself if the gift I’m giving will enhance their life long term or short term. I’m giving myself permission to purchase one or two short term items but am working on long-term solutions for everybody. I’ve started with the greatest challenge, the 3-year old grandbaby. I’m just itching to buy toys, and holding back. So far I’ve come up with a couple books and ways to teach him meditation so he can feel peaceful in this stressful world. I’ll let you know how the rest of it unfolds.

My very best to you all during the holidays. Come back for the next article on Self-Care during the holidays.

Keep in mind that January, the month of new beginnings lurks in the future. Spend some of your time at the end of the year reflecting on what has unfolded and what you have to be grateful for in your own life. With this under your belt you have a good jumping off place for the New Year.

I appreciate all of your comments and ideas to share with others. I wish that we all help one another live lives of joy and abundance in a peaceful world.

Onward
Linda

October 07

by Linda Lawless MA

Fall is in the air, Halloween decorations are popping up, and pumpkins are stacked in front of markets. Here are two themes for the month of October.

1-31 – Adopt-A Shelter-Dog Month - www.aspca.org
Pets help us in many ways. They provide companionship, lend a nonjudgmental ear and actually help some people live longer. Help a homeless animal find a happy home this month.

1-31 – Domestic Violence Awareness Month  - www.ncadv.org
Domestic violence takes place in wealthy and poor households. It is NEVER acceptable and can be seen overtly as physical violence and covertly as psychological abuse. If you have a friend or colleague who suffers abuse, help them get help.

Mental Health & the Media

Recently there have been two significant studies indicating that mental/emotional reactions to relational and environmental stress actually take as high, or a higher toll on your heart than physical risks like high cholesterol, obesity and more. Check out the following studies and make a commitment to keeping your relationships healthy and learning how to manage stress effectively. The second study recommends meditation as a stress reducer.

Marital Spats Taken to Heart

How often couples fight or what they fight about usually doesn’t matter. Instead, it’s the nuanced interactions between men and women, and how they react to and resolve conflict, that appear to make a meaningful difference in the health of the marriage and the health of the couple.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/02/health/02well.html?em&ex=1191729600&en=227c51a3f2506f37&ei=5087%0A

Job Strain Can Be Risk Factor For Subsequent Heart Attacks

A study by Canadian researchers, being published today in the Journal of the American Medical Association, suggests workplace stress may be as hazardous to your heart health as smoking, high cholesterol and other conventional risk factors for cardiovascular disease.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB119196907991953994.html?mod=health_home_stories
Personal Health Records

Medical Records

Microsoft has rolled out a site where you can keep your health records and share them with whomever you want to have the information. The site is www.healthvault.com.  The article about this new service can be found at

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/04/technology/04nd-soft.html?em&ex=1191729600&en=e6ff24527b49014a&ei=5087%0A

Consciousness

The Utne Reader has an article in its Oct. 11 edition reviewing the new research on brain function during ecstatic and transcendent spiritual experiences and comparing the worldviews and perspectives of medicine and Buddhist compassionate meditation. They conclude that they are basically creating the same experiences while one project might advocate Prozac and the other compassionate meditation, they might just be different ways of answering the same questions. For more on this topic see “Can an MRI See God? Neuroscience and the mystery of religious experience” By Brendan Mackie, Utne.com

http://www.utne.com/webwatch/2007_320/news/12803-1.html

One-Minute Shift

IONS, the Institute of Noetic Studies, an organization that sponsors leading-edge research into the potentials and powers of consciousness has just launched the One Minute Shift. Check out their first installment at:

http://oneminuteshift.com/

I found it delightful.

Dance On
Linda

Let the Dance Begin

Welcome to LifeDancing, the Dance of Life

The one thing we can all count on in life is movement and change. Any dynamic dancer knows that the key tools needed in any successful dance is the ability to move from their center so at any given moment they can respond to changes in their music, environment or ability to stay in the "dance." The concept of the LifeDancing process came from my background in dance, design, psychotherapy, and more recently brain science, positive psychology and mindfulness meditation.

When I entered the field of psychotherapy I was convinced that every person held within themselves a seed of self that only needed to be nurtured and supported until it grew into a complete expression of their essence. As I went through the training that was based in the medical model, I discovered that medicine actually viewed people as disconnected parts that became dys-functional and required a therapist to identify and diagnose and then treat.

This model never sat well on my soul, but since I was "in the business of psychotherapy," I worked with insurance companies and followed my professional associations rules to diagnose and treat using their tools, i.e., the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, DSM and treatment protocols, yet always keeping an eye on my clients "self" acknowledging their wisdom and natural seeking for health.

Now 30 years have passed and my beliefs are being validated by science via new discoveries in brain science and the ways to apply what we are learning. The model of LifeDancing has withstood the trials of time as we now are beginning to understand just what people can do to create "Advanced Well-Being" using simple tools, guidance and support. So, the book I wrote 20 years on the Dance of Life is being updated to include these new findings.

Using the LifeDancing model you will be able to deal with any change, obstacle or problem that life presents to you and continue your dance with an authentic smile on your face. I invite you to join the dance and stay tuned to this newsletter as I publish the new chapters. I invite your comments and insights as we move together through life.

Want to know more? Look at the page "Dancers Enter Here." and read the following October post.

Warmly

Linda